User blog:Alex001/Torture (continuos of 'Don't Take Pity! Really!')
Ω C`Absolutely. I had been tortured for around five months. I'm still a bit uneasy, but its still better than last time. I shall sort it out by section. Chapter 1: February 1 to March 2--Skleen Jams Scare On January 30th, I chanced upon a documentary-cum-horror film that described the infamous logo of a certain company, I dub 'Skleen Jams'. I decided to watch the first few seconds on my iPod, and then scroll through the whole thing on one of my computers, muted. On the night of January 31st, I started having a fever and wanted to sleep early. I had a very uneasy feeling about the logo. That was how it all begun. I had a bad feeling about my iPod, and the computer I used. I deleted all files to 'rid Skleen Jams' from it, and also had the urge to go and check out the logo again for no reason. When I did, I had to do the ritual again. During the first week of February, I did not have an appetite for breakfast and dinner only, and I wanted to sleep early. I didn't feel safe anywhere. I don't know why, it could be OCD, or it could be a delusion. It could be some sort of disorder I was having, but my parents said it was OCD due to the rituals. It ended on March 1st, when I discovered another scary logo, deleted the cookies, and got praised by my father for being brave enough to see it, 'overcoming my OCD of not seeing' (the OCD was to go and see the logo). It officially ended on March 2nd when I cried in school over the matter. There was more. I'll list it down. Chapter 2: A Letter to TS A public statement to TS. Dear TurtleShroom, I know that OCD does not cause heart disease. OCD is pyschological, not physical. However, the effects of OCD leads to another effect from the continuos ritual of doing it again and again and again. My parents think I suffer from OCD, as said by the two psychiatrists and the psychotherapist. I may have schizophrenia (I start to hear weird noises lately), and possibly a thought disorder. You think you're worse off, but I'm much worse. First off, I am absolutely afraid that this world is a complete dream. Pinching doesn't help-I still think its a dream. And if its a dream, no one is real. As no one is real, I feel sad and lonely. I love my parents so much that I may become obsessed with them. I didn't trust anyone, including myself and you TS. I thought TS was an Islamic extremist and I thought I was Ben Hun (why did I think of that? I don't trust myself). I thought I'm not even the real Alex001, even though I know I am. I logged in with my own password, but I am afraid that as there is no evidence, it could have just been thought by me, as I don't believe much in time, and it goes on and on and on. Here's a list of all my fears. *God controls everyone but me, thus, no one but me has a life. *No one has a life except me. *'Everything is a dream'. *We are secretly being controlled by aliens-which is why I hated the BoF article. Same concept. *There's no point in living, and I should just die to get a better life. *Neo Geo controls all except me. *Satan controls everyone but me, thus, no one but me has a life. *Satan is the actual God and God is the actual Satan, thus making Satan-God and God-Satan I don't know why I think of these! I love God! I love the world! *There is no second life, so I should try to live (contridacts with the fifth fear). *Explorer is my father. *Explorer is my teacher. *Explorer is actually Osama Bin Laden (Why did I think of that? I don't know how!) *I am Ben Hun. *I am not the real Alex001. *Explorer is my mother *Explorer is actually a friend of mine at my school (this fear has dropped because I realised he knew Penguin OS was Linux). *The Earth boasts and we should not love it. *I am actually an immortal, and was punished by being sent to Earth. ---- Okay, those are all of my fears, TS. Other minor fears are not included. IF you want to find out the trigger/compulsion, comment below. Chapter 3: Category:Blog posts